Shrink Speak
I love "Shrink Speak". It's the stuff I commonly refer to as psycho-babble bullshit. However, once in a while, some of the "stuff" resounds within me. So, I was pleasantly surprised when I heard the following: "When you speak with someone, people may not always remember what you say, but they will always remember how it makes them feel."
Deep Thinking. It's the grown-up version of "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." And, it's a damn good thing to think about. Here are some classic examples:
1. When you breakup with a boyfriend/girlfriend, the words may bounce off of them, but the feeling will stay with them for a very long time, if not forever.
2. When you use racist, sexist or otherwise bigoted remarks toward another individual. I don't necessarily remember why this kid called me a "kike", but I do remember the streak of anger that raged through me at the time.
3. Conversely, (in a good way), you may not remember the words surrounding the first time they say "I love you", but you will always remember that feeling that jumped inside of you.
4. Has anyone ever called you fat? You may not hear the words EXACTLY, but you can feel the scars for years.
5. Has anyone ever called you stupid? SAME THING.
Words can be like a bodkin or blanket to our souls. Sometimes they wound us, sometimes they comfort us. In the end, though, it's how we use those words that will be remembered...not just the words themselves. I am as guilty as anyone else of using words as either bodkins or blankets.
That's why we're taught that sticks and stones may really break our bones, but names WILL NEVER HURT US.
Deep Thinking. It's the grown-up version of "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." And, it's a damn good thing to think about. Here are some classic examples:
1. When you breakup with a boyfriend/girlfriend, the words may bounce off of them, but the feeling will stay with them for a very long time, if not forever.
2. When you use racist, sexist or otherwise bigoted remarks toward another individual. I don't necessarily remember why this kid called me a "kike", but I do remember the streak of anger that raged through me at the time.
3. Conversely, (in a good way), you may not remember the words surrounding the first time they say "I love you", but you will always remember that feeling that jumped inside of you.
4. Has anyone ever called you fat? You may not hear the words EXACTLY, but you can feel the scars for years.
5. Has anyone ever called you stupid? SAME THING.
Words can be like a bodkin or blanket to our souls. Sometimes they wound us, sometimes they comfort us. In the end, though, it's how we use those words that will be remembered...not just the words themselves. I am as guilty as anyone else of using words as either bodkins or blankets.
That's why we're taught that sticks and stones may really break our bones, but names WILL NEVER HURT US.
JSG-
What a cutie you are. I have just now caught up on my friends' posts. I have to admit I laughed at the short guy post. When I was a kid, my dad used to taunt me with the Randy Newman song (I have never made it beyond 5') but I'm pretty sure the line was "short people got no reason to live". Like you, I'm fine with it. And I guess I have it easy since I'm not looking for a tall woman.
I like this last post; I commented on Johnny T's blog recently expressing the same belief about words and the power we give them.
Nicely done...
Posted by
mere |
3:25 PM
Hey Nigel!
I hope all is well these days.
Are the "Shrink" sessions helpful? (It doesn't seem to be helping Tony Soprano that much)...
Sadly, I probably could benefit from therapy, but the issues I have prevent me from getting the help I might need...Cool paradox, huh?
Anyway, I liked the post.
Take care out there, Nigel!
Your Pal,
Zambo.
P.S.
That's a good pic of you.
Posted by
Zambo |
6:04 PM
i sat and thought about what you say and how we say it affects people. good post, even if it did make me feel crappy
Posted by
gordaboo |
1:43 AM
Women do rememeber the exact words. Guys just get the meaning. This is half the reason why we get so grumpy at you guys.
Posted by
Josh |
3:34 AM
What's a kike?
Posted by
Jaymie |
1:34 PM