A Trip to the Pharmacy (Funny)
I love going to my pharmacy. The two pharmacists are drop dead gorgeous. Now, this shouldn't be a pre-requisite for enjoying your pharmacy, but it doesn't hurt either. In fact, I hope they somehow know about my blog because I want them to know I shamelessly fawn over them. Anyway, a long time ago I was taught you should always know your banker and your pharmacist by name. Don't ask me why, but I guess it's supposed to be good business practice.
As you can imagine, I use my trips to flirt with one of the women -- who is married -- and the other woman who I'd like to date. It's all good. They like me a lot because I am not some crotchety old fart demanding their medicine. I am young and polite. They can relate to me. We have things in common outside of our age range. I can go in there and shoot the bull with them any time I want.
So, there's nothing quite like those would-be "embarrassing" times when you have to buy condoms, KY, etc. It used to be funny with the old lady cashiers, but now it's even better. I always like to shop on a late Friday afternoon (even when I don't need them), and say "So, what are you guys doing this weekend?" as they pack up my purchases. They always smile and say they have plans or something like that.
I always smile back and say, "Gee, thanks. I hope you have a really nice weekend."
It never fails. We still have respect for each other, but I can tell they're (pardon the use of the next word) titillated. I always wonder what they are saying about me after I leave, or even what they are thinking. Maybe they just think I am the freak I am. But, they still love to see me the next time I drop in.
The next time is even funnier (to me). Several years ago, I had some serious surgery which requires me to take some medicine that can mess with my system. After the surgery, my doctor prescribed Viagra so there wouldn't be any "down time" (pun totally intended). It turns out, in case you were wondering, that the stuff is a wonder drug. Some women don't necessarily appreciate it, but all my guy friends are getting it now and love it. It's like our wonder drug. My beautiful pharmacists just gawk at me when I come to pick up the Viagra. One time, I even -- at room temperature -- exclaimed, "Is my Viagra ready?" Obnoxious? Not really, the way I said it... they could tell I was just kidding. It was damn funny. Guess you had to be there.
The pharmacists are now like my frat brothers in my frat house. We are members of a secret society, where they know everything about me based on the medicine I take. I know everything about them based on the way they react to my coquetry. Trust me, every time I flirt with them or talk to them, I learn more about their position in life -- their likes, dislikes; their wants and needs; their joys and sorrows.
We play out this routine quite often, as I am a frequent flier in the pharmacy. I often wonder what it's like for women to have to buy the condoms. Or, how do women handle buying tampons from a young male cashier? Or, do women buy lube? How do women deal with the sometimes embarrassing moments you have at the pharmacy? Do they, like me, make light of it? Or, in the end, is it just one huge hassle they'd rather burden the boys with?
As you can imagine, I use my trips to flirt with one of the women -- who is married -- and the other woman who I'd like to date. It's all good. They like me a lot because I am not some crotchety old fart demanding their medicine. I am young and polite. They can relate to me. We have things in common outside of our age range. I can go in there and shoot the bull with them any time I want.
So, there's nothing quite like those would-be "embarrassing" times when you have to buy condoms, KY, etc. It used to be funny with the old lady cashiers, but now it's even better. I always like to shop on a late Friday afternoon (even when I don't need them), and say "So, what are you guys doing this weekend?" as they pack up my purchases. They always smile and say they have plans or something like that.
I always smile back and say, "Gee, thanks. I hope you have a really nice weekend."
It never fails. We still have respect for each other, but I can tell they're (pardon the use of the next word) titillated. I always wonder what they are saying about me after I leave, or even what they are thinking. Maybe they just think I am the freak I am. But, they still love to see me the next time I drop in.
The next time is even funnier (to me). Several years ago, I had some serious surgery which requires me to take some medicine that can mess with my system. After the surgery, my doctor prescribed Viagra so there wouldn't be any "down time" (pun totally intended). It turns out, in case you were wondering, that the stuff is a wonder drug. Some women don't necessarily appreciate it, but all my guy friends are getting it now and love it. It's like our wonder drug. My beautiful pharmacists just gawk at me when I come to pick up the Viagra. One time, I even -- at room temperature -- exclaimed, "Is my Viagra ready?" Obnoxious? Not really, the way I said it... they could tell I was just kidding. It was damn funny. Guess you had to be there.
The pharmacists are now like my frat brothers in my frat house. We are members of a secret society, where they know everything about me based on the medicine I take. I know everything about them based on the way they react to my coquetry. Trust me, every time I flirt with them or talk to them, I learn more about their position in life -- their likes, dislikes; their wants and needs; their joys and sorrows.
We play out this routine quite often, as I am a frequent flier in the pharmacy. I often wonder what it's like for women to have to buy the condoms. Or, how do women handle buying tampons from a young male cashier? Or, do women buy lube? How do women deal with the sometimes embarrassing moments you have at the pharmacy? Do they, like me, make light of it? Or, in the end, is it just one huge hassle they'd rather burden the boys with?
That made me laugh :)
As for your questions it always depends. I always tend to make light of it and, like you, I know most cashiers near my house by name.
If it is a young guy and I am buying condoms I just give a smirk, buying tampoons I talk about something else (it deflects their embarrassment).
If it is a girl the condoms don't matter cause they do it too and if it is tampoons they always have empathy anyway.
Old people are a whole other story - it is get in pay, avoid eye contact he might be a dirty old man perv - and leave
Now buying tampoons and condoms at the same time - they just think I am dirty LOL
Love your blog and thanks for visitng mine! Can I link to your blog? I love it!
Posted by
Rachel Heather |
5:47 AM
Love the blog! Thanks for dropping by...
This post cracked me up. You need to consider bringing someone else in on this... to wait after you've gone and listen in! :) Sounds like they truly enjoy you!
Posted by
Unknown |
8:29 AM
Thanks for coming by my blog. I guess it's normal how we can think that about beautiful girls when we see them often.
Posted by
Lowry |
8:53 AM
I've been that girl that the guy comes back and repeatedly flirted with (even when I was married)
I always found it very flattering and fun, "exciting" even.
Posted by
Tiffanie |
10:20 AM
Ohh...you should buy the condoms and ask the single one if she wants to hang out that weekend. She'd probably orgasm on the spot!
Gosh, I'm evil.
Yeah, call me old fashioned, but I've never bought condoms. I have, however, had great experiences picking up my birth control from young guys at the pharmacy. I think I wrote about it...I'll look through my old posts and see if I can find it.
Posted by
Lily |
1:22 PM
Ohhh...found it. August 2005:
Title: Why I'm currently rethinking the benefits of abstinence.
I just came home from the pharmacy, where I had to pick up my birth control pills for the coming month. They had this really young guy working as a tech in the pharmacy and he's the one who got my stuff and rung me up. When he looked into the bag to make sure the right meds were in there, he got all weird. I could practically read his thoughts: "She's getting her birth control pills...birth control...sex...sex...SEX...." Then, when he grinned at me, I almost threw up.
Since when do they let horny teenage guys dispense birth control pills? Shudder....
Posted by
Lily |
1:28 PM
I've always loved buying condoms from young men. One of my favorite times was on vacation in California with a friend with benefits. We walked into a pharmacy and this young kid was beind the counter in his little smock. I made a total scene. "Noooooooo I want the ribbed ones! I know you like the glow in the dark ones but those make me itch!"
Sometimes I'm just obnoxious.
Oh, and here's a tip for the girls. If you roll a rubber over your toys the lube won't break down the toy material and clean up is a snap.
Posted by
Melissa |
9:09 PM
Hey Nigel.
Just catching up...Another great post!
I have purchased a lot of tampons and even more condoms over the years...I guess guys should feel proud to buy condoms, but I usually feel a little awkward...I used to mix them in with other stuff at the larger grocery store...But sometimes, when I'm feeling bolder, I just buy them at a drug store...It's better to have a condom and not need one, than to need a condom and to not have one has always been my motto...(inspired by the line in "True Romance" that was referring to a gun)...
Anyway, this post inspired a lot of good responses...
Take care out there, Nigel!
Your Pal,
Zambo.
Posted by
Zambo |
11:40 PM
I'm a bit old-fashioned, too, and leave it to the guys to buy the "stuff." I don't get my tampons from pharmacies because you can get them in supermarkets besides, I don't feel embarrassed using them.
Actually, I don't go to pharmacies often. I did go today to get some penicillin for my sore throat :-/
Posted by
Unknown |
12:04 PM