Strange Places Strange Faces

This may come as news to some of you, but there was a point in time when parents could not find out the sex of their baby. Ultrasounds did not exist as they do today. There was this element of surprise in the waiting room. Pink and blue bubble gum cigars were the norm during celebrations after finding out a baby's sex. Bottom line: Until the baby's bottom was out, you just didn't know what you were having.

So, my Dad and a family friend bet a steak dinner on my sex. If I was a girl, the friend won. If I was "Nigel", my Dad got to feast on a big Porterhouse. Sounds cool to me. But, alas, my story gets better.

It's the 1:00 p.m. hour, and the doctor gets my head out (I am trying not to be too graphic here). He announces to the crowd in the waiting room -- my grandparents, my Dad, family friends, et al. (hell, it seems like everyone was there for this Event) -- that it looks like I am a beautiful girl. He says just my head is out, but I am beautiful. (Okay, insert your comments here)

My Dad's friend begins to celebrate. He thinks he has won this steak dinner. Then, at 1:56 p.m., the rest of me enters the world. Oops! I may have been pretty, but I came with some serious plumbing. No female stuff here. Game over. My dad wins. Our family friend has to suck up and deal with the fact I am a boy, until he gets his own girl just weeks later. As for me, I am still traumatized my parents told me the story in the first place. I think they should have just lied, told me that there was a prehistoric ultrasound and they knew I was going to be a boy from day one.

Boy, oh boy. The things that can adversely affect our lives. Have a nice day, girls and boys.

Posted by Ike on Monday, June 19, 2006 at 12:16 AM | Permalink