Strange Places Strange Faces

This blog is dedicated to a fellow blogger who was the inspiration for this piece. We talked about it for a little bit, and it gave way to what I am about to write. You know who you are, and I am grateful.

This blog is about some forms of what I call "Guyspeak", which is the shit we fellas say that you just don't understand. In this issue of "Nigel's Guide to Guyspeak", I'll discuss some terms of endearment.

First, let's check out the word "cute". "Cute" is something we call you when you are decent looking and we would take you out with our friends. We wouldn't show you off, per se, but you are definitely some one who could hang with the guys. A girl is "cute" when she can drink beer with us, party with us and maybe "hook up" with us. We aren't going to have a long-term relationship with her. It's akin to calling her "nice". It means she's great to go out with, nice to be around, but there will never be a serious relationship.

Second, let's deal with the word, "pretty". "Pretty" means we want to offer you a compliment, but we don't want to blow things out of proportion. A girl who is pretty is someone we would definitely show off to our friends and even our family. She has more confidence than "cute". There is definitely something more attractive to her. We genuinely like her, but we don't love her. She is more physically attractive than anything else. When we say, "You're really pretty," it may be contrived as insincere, which is why you hear it less often. It's hard to tell a girl she's "pretty" in just the right way without her feeling it's a left-handed compliment. But, in the end, we pretty much mean what we are saying and we definitely find you attractive. Did I mention it can also be used as a ploy to get down your pants? Shhh... don't give any of my secrets away.

Third, there's "hot". "Hot" is pretty straightforward. It means we think you look awesome and we want to get it on as soon as possible before you might "cool down". "Hot" is one of those words girls almost certainly want to hear. "Hot" is also a word that reverberates in their minds. They want to be "hot". "Hot" is over-rated. We use that word all the time -- especially when describing celebrities. Jennifer Aniston is hot. Marge Simpson is hot (LOL). "Hot" is a push-button word we use to get down your pants. Used properly, and with enough infusion of alcohol, it almost certainly works. It's also a word we repeat more than the first two. "You're hot. You are so hot." And, when we "get it on", it's a word used in the bedroom, where the other two just aren't..

Finally, my fellow blogger -- now understanding all three of these -- asked me to define beautiful.

Now, this is much easier. "Beautiful" means I love you. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. When we say you are beautiful it encompasses everything about you. We really want to be with you and have a meaningful relationship (or we're lying really well). This is a term reserved for the best of the best and isn't thrown around lightly. It refers, as I said, to a girl's inner-being as well as her outer features. We are definitely taking her home to meet Mom and Dad. It's also the word that appears in more songs than any other. James Blunt is the most recent example. Next to "love", beautiful is probably used in more love songs than any other word, which is why I clearly equate it to love.

That's "Guyspeak" for today. Any questions? Let me know. Want me to decipher more? Let me know that, too. This is Nigel Vossap at your service.

Posted by Ike on Friday, June 30, 2006 at 3:24 PM | Permalink