Strange Places Strange Faces

You realize, of course, that usually it is chicks being left in the dark like this, right?

I will say that I almost never call men. Almost never. After ten months of dating my boyfriend, I now call him occasionally, but nowhere close to as often as he calls me.

I think you are disoriented because Dr. J used a traditionally male move on you: "The fadeout."

What does it mean? For some reason, y'all failed to click in some essential way she was looking for. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or with her, but dating is a numbers game.

Sorry it didn't work out. And I'll spare you the usual sappiness of "it's probably for the best", "someone better will come along", and all that other crap.

I've been known to chicken out of having a mature discussion with someone I don't want to see anymore. It's a coward's move, but the disappearing act is so much easier.

I don't think it's a traditionally male thing, though. Based on talks with my friends, I think it goes both ways equally.

Hmmm...

I have no idea. I'm like you--I don't understand the "not calling" thing.

From what I can tell, you seem pretty darn good to me; try not to let Dr. J's lack of maturity bring you down.

yah, she just sounds maybe a bit emotionally stunted. i agree with me. (har)

you didn't do anything wrong you just didn't click. And being that you had no established relationship yet it was just a dating by the numbers thing. if someone is dating a lot they just dont call the ones they didnt click with.

watch sex and the city :)

as for not calling you on that day i would say it probably made her feel uncomfortable because she did not know you well yet and probably did not know how to handle it , especially since that duty is more of a girlfriend duty.

you liked her though so you read into it as a personal attack when she probably just didn't feel that "thing" you didn't do anything "wrong" and that is why she did not explain to you what you did "wrong"

If I had to tell every single guy I have gone on one, two or three dates with and left it at that - what they did wrong then I would seriously get depressed. I can just tell by the second date if I have "it" with a guy or not.

you may understand dudes but i understand women :)

Nigel, you didn't do anything wrong. Chemistry is a very strange thing, and it has nothing to do with looks, personality, intelligence, etc. It really is on a subconscious level, and most people don't understand it themselves.

Josie

Nigel, Nigel, Nigel...you are like the girls on your other blog asking such questions:)

There seems to be unspoken rules of dating that in my experience, include the tenent that in the beginning of dating, things are fair game - one person may not call back - why? The reason doesn't matter. It's like a new job where your contract says, "if for any reason either party choses to terminate the relationship, they may do so for any cause."

I agree it would be helpful if people were honest, but that creates a situation that the "dumper" doesn't want to get into, such as being asked, 'well, why don't you like me anymore?'

Frankly, if I am the one dumping in the beginning of a relationship, I have absolutely no motivation to have that kind of converstaion. I do not feel emotionally invested or obligated to do so.

In a serious relationship I would handle it differently.

It sounds like you liked her and she blew you off for god knows what, but it doesn't matter, because if she decided you were not compatible, it's not becaue you did something wrong, it would be because she didn't feel you clicked.

Issues of compatibility are much more the cause of "premature dumping" in the beginning, more so that someone doing something wrong. Why? Because you are just getting to know each other and when either party finds out something that is not compatible, they have the right to move on, and also have the right not to explain themselves to the dumpee.

I know that sounds cold, but men do this all the time to women and it is never questioned.

Again, in a serious relationship, I would expect a different way of handling a break-up.

For every "no" you're closer to a "yes".......mon

Thank you all for making me feel better - Nigel.

ok, i love rachel, but i have to disagree.

do not watch sex and the city.

do not watch or read bridget jones anything.

please join me in my campaign to un-neuroticize women. we are so smarter than this.

...except that i totally lust for colin firth, as well. damn.