Do As I Say and Not As I Do
Yeah. Sure. How many times have you heard this hypocritical crap? I even found myself proffering up this advice to a friend of mine today under the context of relationships. If you don't know me, there is one thing you should know. I am one hell of a relationship expert when it comes to "Do As I Say, and Not As I Do". Hell, I may be the king of this parlance.
When it comes to relationships, in particular, my advice is inimitable. I am the modern day Sue Johanson of my friends when it comes to relationships and sex. I am the modern day Dear Abby when it comes to relationships, marriage, children and the like. I am Miss Manners to people who are simply inept when it comes to that shit, and I am like Suze Orman or someone when it comes to financial advice.
So, how come I can't heed my own damn advice half the time? Am I that stupid? Am I a defeatist at every juncture? Do I really tune myself out that much? Let's see. My relationships have been solid for long periods of time, then they suffer cardiac arrest. Sex is just about the same (Okay, not really). I don't have children or a marriage or anything like that, so I am semi-objective and seemingly knowledgeable when it comes to my Dear Abby phase. ( I figure there's just nothing like seeking advice from someone who doesn't know shit). I never had to worry about Miss Manners because my parents sent me to that manners school when I was four years old, and gave me that ridiculous book "Stand Up, Shake Hands and Say How Do You Do?". So, that pretty much made me an expert in that category. Nonetheless, I am continuously plagued by "doing the wrong thing at the wrong time." I always hear, "I can't believe he did this" or "I can't believe he did that." And, my theory on money is, "have money, will spend." That's why I did so well on South Beach living paycheck to paycheck in my twenties.
So, now I figure that it is time -- as I approach the ripe old age of 33 -- and I have completed five plus years of serious ass-kicking therapy that I start to heed my own advice. And, those of you out there who find yourself in the same jam, should do the same thing. Indeed, now is the time for all of us to do as we say, and say what we do.
When it comes to relationships, in particular, my advice is inimitable. I am the modern day Sue Johanson of my friends when it comes to relationships and sex. I am the modern day Dear Abby when it comes to relationships, marriage, children and the like. I am Miss Manners to people who are simply inept when it comes to that shit, and I am like Suze Orman or someone when it comes to financial advice.
So, how come I can't heed my own damn advice half the time? Am I that stupid? Am I a defeatist at every juncture? Do I really tune myself out that much? Let's see. My relationships have been solid for long periods of time, then they suffer cardiac arrest. Sex is just about the same (Okay, not really). I don't have children or a marriage or anything like that, so I am semi-objective and seemingly knowledgeable when it comes to my Dear Abby phase. ( I figure there's just nothing like seeking advice from someone who doesn't know shit). I never had to worry about Miss Manners because my parents sent me to that manners school when I was four years old, and gave me that ridiculous book "Stand Up, Shake Hands and Say How Do You Do?". So, that pretty much made me an expert in that category. Nonetheless, I am continuously plagued by "doing the wrong thing at the wrong time." I always hear, "I can't believe he did this" or "I can't believe he did that." And, my theory on money is, "have money, will spend." That's why I did so well on South Beach living paycheck to paycheck in my twenties.
So, now I figure that it is time -- as I approach the ripe old age of 33 -- and I have completed five plus years of serious ass-kicking therapy that I start to heed my own advice. And, those of you out there who find yourself in the same jam, should do the same thing. Indeed, now is the time for all of us to do as we say, and say what we do.
Love this.
Posted by
Mags |
11:15 AM