What The Hell Do I Do With These?
My dad is a completely anal-retentive clean freak. The slightest spot in my parents' tidy home sends him into a panic. Last week, he paid a ton of money to have a specialty company come in and clean the grout on all of the tile in the house. It took them half a day. He vacuums incessantly. He is the Wizard of Windex. He polishes and scrubs every single part of that house, and warns me -- within an inch of my life -- that I better not mess it up. Hell, he even gets pissed at the dogs for shedding a hair. In short, he is an overboard anal-retentive clean freak I happen to love.
Then there's me. I am not anal-retentive about anything. My place would best be described by my father as a "pig's sty". Ever hear that one before? There was once a poem written about me. One of the lines was: "Nigel's so lazy/about picking up his clothes/wherever they lay/are wherever he throws." That line was written 20 years ago, and is still true today. Hell, I swear I launder and dress in clean clothes. I just don't mind a trail of clothes from other rooms in my apartment to the bedroom. I refuse to vacuum everyday. If Ike sheds, he sheds. That's life with a dog. My bathroom is organized, but messy. I just don't have the time to scrub everything down everyday. My kitchen has some spare pots and pans around, and a few things hanging around in the sink (dishes, utensils, et al.). But, it's my place and I am happy. I like clutter. It's the way I live.
I don't tell Dad to keep his place the way he does, and I don't want him to tell me to "clean up my act," a conversation that arises once in a while.
Which leads me to the title of the blog. I am crazy about one thing. I need every new cleaning product available, if even just to admire it in my "cleaning closet." I want the latest Windex, the newest floor cleaner, the greatest vacuum, the best toilet cleaner, all of those electric devices for making cleaning quicker and so on and so on. They just look good in my apartment. I like seeing that I am up-to-date on the "trendiest" cleaning products. Hell, even if I don't use them doesn't mean I don't have to have them. So, Target usually does me just right. I confess I have spent more than $100 on cleaning supplies that never get used. Or, maybe I get up the courage to try them once. Either way, I win. I can always say, "I have this" or "I have that." Just because I have it, doesn't mean I have used it.
So, what the hell do I do with things anyway?
Then there's me. I am not anal-retentive about anything. My place would best be described by my father as a "pig's sty". Ever hear that one before? There was once a poem written about me. One of the lines was: "Nigel's so lazy/about picking up his clothes/wherever they lay/are wherever he throws." That line was written 20 years ago, and is still true today. Hell, I swear I launder and dress in clean clothes. I just don't mind a trail of clothes from other rooms in my apartment to the bedroom. I refuse to vacuum everyday. If Ike sheds, he sheds. That's life with a dog. My bathroom is organized, but messy. I just don't have the time to scrub everything down everyday. My kitchen has some spare pots and pans around, and a few things hanging around in the sink (dishes, utensils, et al.). But, it's my place and I am happy. I like clutter. It's the way I live.
I don't tell Dad to keep his place the way he does, and I don't want him to tell me to "clean up my act," a conversation that arises once in a while.
Which leads me to the title of the blog. I am crazy about one thing. I need every new cleaning product available, if even just to admire it in my "cleaning closet." I want the latest Windex, the newest floor cleaner, the greatest vacuum, the best toilet cleaner, all of those electric devices for making cleaning quicker and so on and so on. They just look good in my apartment. I like seeing that I am up-to-date on the "trendiest" cleaning products. Hell, even if I don't use them doesn't mean I don't have to have them. So, Target usually does me just right. I confess I have spent more than $100 on cleaning supplies that never get used. Or, maybe I get up the courage to try them once. Either way, I win. I can always say, "I have this" or "I have that." Just because I have it, doesn't mean I have used it.
So, what the hell do I do with things anyway?
I feel a cliche blue's song coming on about the pig's sty poem.
Posted by
Lowry |
11:54 AM
you don't have dirty dishes in your closet, do you? i have a friend who does that.
hey, do you have that shower self-spraying cleaning thing? i've been wondering about those.
Posted by
Kathryn Craven |
12:53 PM
as long as you don't try to wash your clothing in the dishwasher or your dishes in the tub...
although i would LOVE to be a "fly on the wall" when you decided to bring a chick home!
Posted by
Unknown |
7:28 PM
I just bought one of the new Dyson vacuum cleaners and I LOVE it. I've never loved a vacuum cleaner before. It's a whole new affair.
Posted by
Melissa |
2:16 PM